Reviews & Awards

Voted #1 by the HauntedHouseChicago.com Official Review Team, 2010 & 2011

Voted #1 by HauntedHouseChicago.com 10 out of the last 12 years.

HauntedHouseChicago.com 2010 Official Review

Reviewed on: Thursday, October 7, 2010
Admission Cost: $30

Sometimes, and it is very rare, but sometimes, people or destinations earn enough popularity or street credit to be referred and referenced by a single name. For instance, Bono, Madonna, Vegas, Cabo, etc, etc.

In the Chicagoland haunted attraction market, it could be argued that there is only one that can be referred to by a single name, and that would be known as Statesville. It may also earn the credit for the longest full name as well, which is, Statesville Haunted Prison and City of the Dead.

Statesville has even established such a reputation that one of my new review staff members, who has only worked with me for one year, trembled at the very sound of the name. Prior to her visit during our review night, she had only heard stories, urban legends, and fairy tales.

(Remind me to tell you about the 13-story haunted house that you get your money back if you get out.)

Did you know that Statesville Haunted Prison is actually based off of a real prison called, “Stateville Correctional Center” (Notice the singular tone.) It too is located just down the road in Crest Hill, IL. It is a maximum-security facility and opened in 1925. Not only is it one of the few facilities in Illinois that carried out executions, but has also been featured in several Hollywood productions such as, “Natural Born Killers”, “Bad Boys”, and several soap operas.

Speaking of executions, did you know that John Wayne Gacy was executed there?

One more fun fact: Did you know that the design behind Stateville was designed by British philosopher, Jeremy Bentham? (Ring any bells, Lost fans?)

I must admit that the very first time I headed to Statesville, circa 1998-1999, I too had delusions of a haunted house set in a real prison. Although it isn’t actually located near the real cellblocks, the legend and lore still add to the creepy aura that surrounds this attraction.

From the moment we stepped out of the car, Statesville slaps you in the face. Metal tones blaring, police gumball lights spinning, and prison bars covering the face of the monster you are about experience.

As we waited to enter, a good dozen prison guards milled about. Some monitoring, some yelling, and some turning sharply and shining their flashlights in our eyes. There was even a maniacal clown running loose, jumping on the cages, and bleeding all over. She even offered to share her gum; how nice.

With patrons eager and waiting on edge, the atmosphere couldn’t be more perfect.  Most were too nervous to stand still. Some kept looking around cautiously, while others hid in arms of loved ones. Without a doubt, there wasn’t a dull moment and has to be among the best wait entertainment we have seen at a haunted attraction.

Inside, Statesville began with their trademark “Warden” entrance. Fun fact: Did you know that the song played is, “O Fortuna” from “Carmina Burana” by Carl Orff? The full name of the movement is, “Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi.”

(Today must be history day; so many facts!)

As we braved our way through a number of cellblocks, jails, and chambers, our first memorable scene came as we somehow wandered into the men’s shower room. Standing before us was a half-naked, rotund prisoner standing under a showerhead, rubbing his body, and singing a classic Divinyls track. There was even real, running water coming from all the showerheads. Not only did our focal point get wet, but even our group got a little sprinkle!

If I might say: one of the creepiest encounters ever. AND not a spot of make-up on this actor… just some baby oil.

It’s ok; I will wait for you to get that mental picture out of your head.

AND speaking of “sprinkles”, there was even a prisoner, how should we say, “relieving himself” in the trough. And if I remember correctly, it was glowing.

Just as we thought it was safe to peer out from behind our virgin eyes, we landed in a very disturbing room, inhabited by quite a large man covered in what seemed to be his own waste. Not only was he covered in it, but he also decided that it looked tasty… if you get my drift.

Wow. And really, folks, this was only the beginning. Not only does Statesville do the pop-scares and sneak attacks, but the mentally disturbing barrages really add a new dimension to haunted attraction terror!

Of course, Statesville kept staples like the “Ring” room and their famous Clown room. But, 2010 unveiled a brand new maniac ward and that is absolutely something special. With mental patients literally everywhere, it is probably the busiest room I have ever experienced. There were actors in wheelchairs, hanging through the ceiling, dangling from ropes, and even breaking straight out of the walls! We were told the real number later, but during our experience, we felt there had to be 50 people in that room alone!

With some of the best path and room designs yet, Statesville actors never stopped to breathe while zigging and zagging us through their fortress of terror. Whether we were walking through slanted walls, crouching down, or tiptoeing around obstacles, our eyes never stopped spanning for what was next…and we weren’t done, yet.

As we tried to catch our breath, we were lead to the gates of City of the Dead. City of the Dead is slightly less intense than the big house, but not an ounce less effective.

As we walked through scene after scene, resembling the underworld and beautifully crafted caves, hordes of actors, speaking some unknown language, assaulted us at every turn. Winding us around stalagmites, over bridges, and inside caverns, nearly every step brought us closer to another actor ready to strike.

Just as we thought we were out of the woods, and the end was in sight, City of the Dead pulls out a last shocker that was newly added for this year. It caught our entire team off-guard! (And no, we can’t tell you what it is; that would ruin the surprise!)

With all the updates and changes made, City of the Dead is finally an outstanding companion to its older brother and really helps to make this haunt combo a perfect 1-2 punch!

As we finally made our way to the parking lot, we couldn’t help but to have some of the biggest smiles on our faces yet. Statesville’s motto may be, “Feed the Beast,” but these monsters are aggressive, relentless, and hungrier than ever. In the 10+ years that I have been reviewing this show, this is definitely among their best performances yet.

If you were ever considering seeing the show before and haven’t yet, now is absolutely the time. And don’t worry about bringing them any snacks; with you there, they will have plenty of fresh meat.

Voted MOST HARDCORE HAUNTED HOUSE 2011 by CBS CHICAGO

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