› Is Statesville a real prison?

› Are there real prisoners inside Statesville Haunted Prison^®?

› Can the prisoners touch you?

› Is there an age requirement for admitance?

› Is it scary?

› How long is the tour?

› Can I act like a jackass while inside Statesville Haunted Prison^®?

› What are the items that I should make sure I don't bring into Statesville
   Haunted Prison^® and City of the Dead?

› How long is the wait?

› Do you have wait entertainment?

› Do you have covered waiting?

› What is the best day to come for the shortest line wait times?

› Is there a VIP line?

› What do I get for my ticket?

› Can I by tickets online?

› Is there free parking at Statesville?

› Do you have food, drink, and concessions available?

› Do you know a great place to get a Halloween costume?

› Do you have Statesville merchandise available?

› Is Statesville appropriate for children?

› How can I get a job at Statesville Haunted Prison^®?

› Where do you come up with your designs?

› How do I get to Statesville?

› Is it gory?

› I am afraid of the dark, afraid of clowns, afraid of blood, afraid of air…

› Do I get my money back if I don't make it through?

Q: Is Statesville a real prison?
A: No. Statesville Haunted Prison^® is a fictitious haunted house that takes the format and plot of a prison.

Q: Are there real prisoners inside Statesville Haunted Prison^®?
A: Maybe. Since we do not do background checks on our employees, some of them may very well be prisoners, escape convicts, or former residents of some correctional facility.

Q: Can the prisoners touch you?
A: Only if you are really pretty… Actually, it doesn't matter if you are pretty, ugly, or dead; the prisoners will not touch you. So, this means that you are not allowed to touch the prisoners. By everyone keeping their hands to themselves, they get to go home with their bodies intact.

Q: Is there an age requirement for admitance?
A: Yes. No one under the age of 10 will be allowed on the property and persons 15 and under MUST be accompanied by a paid adult.

Q: Is it scary?
A: Now let's think about this question. Would we put together a haunted prison and then throw in Barney and Sesame Street characters? I think not. Be ready to scream…

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Q: How long is the tour?
A: Tour? Who said anything about a tour? Who said anything about getting out? Once you check in, the parole board has to decide on your release date. However, they have been pretty lenient lately. The usual stay for a typical prison visit is between 55-65 minutes.

Q: Can I act like a jackass while inside Statesville Haunted Prison^®?
A: Of course you can! But, expect to be pummeled, beaten, and bruised by the inmates. Do us a favor; have a good time and enjoy the Halloween season. If you act like a jackass, you will be escorted out…on your head.

Q: What are the items that I should make sure I don't bring into Statesville Haunted Prison^® and City of the Dead?
A: It probably is a wise decision not to bring any guns, chains, knives, weapons of any kind, flashlights, penlights, pocket lights, spotlights….pretty much any kind of light, cameras, video cameras, digital cameras… ok any kind of camera, pagers, cell phones, lighters, alcohol, chemicals, or nuclear devices. You will be asked to leave without refund. (Please note: harmonicas will be allowed.)

Q: How long is the wait?
A: The earlier you arrive, the shorter the wait. However, the wait has been known to climb upwards of 2 weeks. So, it is best to start camping outside the prison entrance now.

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Q: Do you have wait entertainment?
A: Wait entertainment? You want wait entertainment? What, the blood-curdling screams of the tortured souls inside aren't enough for you? Fine. I suppose we can hook-up a TV or something for you to watch.

Q: Do you have covered waiting?
A: COVERED WAITING? WELL DON'T WE JUST WANT IT ALL? Wait entertainment AND covered waiting? Fine. I suppose I don't want our TV to get wet.

Q: What is the best day to come for the shortest line wait times?
A: If you show up at 4am, I will guarantee you that no one will be there. Seriously, no one. But, if you were to decide to visit us on a Thursday, the line would be significantly shorter than Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

Q: Is there a VIP line?
A: Well aren't we all fancy-pants. Who do you think you are? VIP lines my ass! You'll wait like the rest of the maggots! But, I suppose that if your Daddy is rich, and you wanted to pony up some cash, we will let you skip the TV entertainment and 2-week wait.

Q: What do I get for my ticket?
A: (1) one-way ticket, with all expenses paid to Jamaica. Complete with 4-star lodging, room service, and complimentary poolside drink service. Are you serious? Do you really have to ask? You get admission to the #1 haunted house in all of Chicagoland for over 6 years! You get to experience our blood, sweat, and tears, with the nightmares to last a lifetime. Come and play with some of the most hardcore criminals around...

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Q: Can I by tickets online?
A: Absolutely. Just send us your credit card information and we will make sure your tickets are reserved at the entrance.

Q: Is there free parking at Statesville?
A: Free parking? Yet again, you want something for nothing. Fine. We will make parking free. (We don’t want you parking in the middle of the street.)

Q: Do you have food, drink, and concessions available?
A: Do you think this is a full-service restaurant? Would you like lobster with your steak? Well, I suppose making soda and snacks available for purchase wouldn't be that big of a problem. Tell you what, we'll have even have some warm drinks available for purchase in case it's cold outside. (Aww...) Check here for more information.

Q: Do you know a great place to get a Halloween costume?
A:The store. But, because we are all about making it easier for you, we decided to build a store on the premises. So, if you end up getting lucky and escaping Statesville, be sure to stop by our fully featured Halloween and costume shop for anything you need to torture your friends and loved ones. Check here for more information.

Q: Do you have Statesville merchandise available?
A: I suppose. But, it won't make much difference if you don't make it out, will it? Should you escape, we have an assortment of t-shirts and other goodies so you can brag to your friends. Check here for more information.

Q: Is Statesville appropriate for children?
A: Only if you want to pay for years of psychiatric treatment. Its your call…

Q: How can I get a job at Statesville Haunted Prison^®?
A: First, you have to make sure you have experienced the prison as a guest. Once doing so, you are welcome to fill out an application here.

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Q: Where do you come up with your designs?
A: Well, I suppose the majority of them come while sitting atop the porcelain throne and then some while playing Candyland and occasionally Shoots-And-Ladders.

Q: How do I get to Statesville?
A: In a car or by foot. Our recommendation is to travel by car. If you do so, here are some directions you can use. Don't blame us if you get yourself all lost and turned around.

Q: Is it gory?
A: I would have to say no. Well, except for the dried blood from prisoners that are no longer with us….and the blood room were we disembowel jackass guests….and the clown room…..and the……I guess I was wrong. Yup, it's pretty bloody.

Q: I am afraid of the dark, afraid of clowns, afraid of blood, afraid of air…
A: We have the perfect solution for you! Come to Statesville. Instead of paying thousands of dollars over many years on doctors trying to cure you of your fears, we will do it for the special price of only $29.99, plus $.01 convenience fee (for a grand total of $30 per ticket).

Q: Do I get my money back if I don't make it through?
A: Hang on, let me catch my breath. I am just laughing way too hard. Hold on. Ok. PHEW! That was a good one! Sure, you can have your money back, but you will have to see the warden about that…

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